Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Scariest mommy on the block


Am I a scary mommy? I guess that depends on who you talk to.

My husband would say I'm pretty scary because I divulge too much information, too much of myself online. Facebook and blogging are very scary to him.

My mother would say I'm a scary mom because I talk about things like PPD, family affairs and dirty laundry not only with other people but online with the world! She would also think I'm pretty scary because I let my kids go outside with out hats or with unzipped coats (they will learn when they are cold) I'm sure she thinks they will die of pneumonia.

My dad thinks I'm pretty scary because I use a bread machine instead of kneading by hand (lazy dad, just lazy!).

I'm sure there are many moms out there who think I'm scary because...

...I have skipped a vaccine

...I don't play mommy games

...I take time for me

...I love heels and would wear them to the park if I could

...I let my kids watch TV, but not commercial TV

...I discipline

...I let my kids play in the yard, by themselves

...I yell at my kids, sometimes

...I don't want to be their best friend, I want to be a good parent

My kids think I'm scary because...well I asked them and they said “no mommy no scary” and "Your not scary, nothing you could do would scare me!" I'm sure they're lying. There was a the time we yelled at them in the car because we were lost and they WOULD NOT SHUT UP...I am sure I was scary then, or when I am rushing them. Or when I sing, they have asked me several times to leave and let daddy sing their lullabies, yeah it's that bad!

I think I'm a scary mommy all the time, for

.not being good enough

.being scary looking

..not doing enough

.being a really scary housekeeper!

...for more things than there is room to list.

Environmentalists think I'm scary because we occasionally use paper plate and we used disposable diapers.

The grocery store clerks looked pretty scared as I raced the fire truck shopping cart around the store today like I was a NASCAR driver.

One of my best friends thinks I'm a pretty scary speller and probably cringes at the grammar in many of my posts (especially my total confusion with thEn and thAn).

I could go on and on. The truth is that I am really not the scariest mommy in the world (isn't that Lenore? Kidding of course, I love her!) but I surely scare the most amount of people, I can manage to scare on so many levels you should just give me the camera...or you'll really see scary!


Jill is on a search for the scariest mommy and she is going to give that mom a Flip camera. How cool is that? We don't even own a video camera. The only video of my kids I have is the grainy little ones my regular camera takes. Think of the memories! Think of it as a guarantee that we don't become the Gosselins! I am calling on you my 220 Facebook Friends and Family, my mommy blogger friends are entering too, so they won't help me! You have to help me. Add all the ways you know I am the scariest mommy around in the comments section. Thanks!


Scary Mommy said...

I love your take on this post!! I think everybody, BUT my kids would at some time or another, define me as scary!

Emmy said...

Great job! You do sound pretty scary, and just like the rest of us.
We always race our shopping cart around :)