Saturday, November 21, 2009

Battle of the Senses

Did you ever notice that while men and women both have the same 5 senses they do not work in anywhere near the same way? Don't follow? How about I provide some examples.


Women look in the refrigerator and can see not only what is directly at the front of each shelf, they can scan the whole refrigerator and see what is beyond the front of each shelf.

Men look in the fridge and can only see what is at the front of the one shelf that they looked at. So the mayo he's looking for will never be found because it's on the top shelf (where it belongs) but it is not on the middle shelf where he is looking.

Women hear everything. EVERYTHING. The kids screaming two rooms over and the one slightly whimpering in his bedroom. We even hear the teen rolling their eyes behind our back, seriously, it's one of our super powers and I don't expect men to be able to replicate that level of sophisticated hearing.

I do expect them to hear a person talking directly too them, while making eye contact with them. This "selective" hearing is annoying and irritating and please stop teaching it to my 4 year old, it will be better for everyone! I also expect them to sometimes hear that screaming child in the sense that hearing manages to make you wake up and go see why said child is screaming.

Women can feel the slightest brush/tug/tap on their leg, especially by little hands.

Men can stand there for minutes being tapped by little hands saying dad, dad, dad, dad, DAD! (see above on hearing) with little to no notice.


Women can smell a dirty diaper anywhere in the house.

Men can't smell a dirty diaper when it's sitting in their lap and crying.

While this is all in good fun and many a man and women can fall into opposite categories, we pretty well stick to these "rules" in our house. Which makes things interesting none the less. I have started asking my son when he tells me he can't find something (and I just told him exactly where it was) if he looked like a daddy or looked like a mommy. How do I know that he understands there is a difference. He responded, "Do you mean did I pick stuff up and look underneath it?"

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