Friday, February 26, 2010

Fab Friday: Friends

{photo credit Valerie Everett}

Ah, how good it feels! The hand of an old friend. ~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Good, true Friends are an amazing thing. They can get you through good times and bad. They can lift you up and ground you to reality. If you are lucky enough to have a friend that has been your friend since childhood, consider your self blessed. I wish I did. Don't get me wrong, I have some of the most amazing friends in the world, but I think there is something extra special and extraordinary about having someone in your life that knew you before you were you. Someone that knew you before you grew up and became that person you are today.

I blame myself for not having more "old friends". I throw myself whole heatedly into whatever stage, thing, or period of my life I am in. When I changed school districts from grade school to high school I threw myself into the school I was at, no looking back. I tried a little harder in college but balance was not something I had learned yet. If it weren't for the persistence and awesomeness of some of my friends I am wondering if I would talk to anyone who knew me before college (that is if Facebook didn't exist).

When I left my job to stay home and be a mom I realized that all my "friends" in this new city I was living in were not friends but "co-workers". That's when I truly learned that I needed to do more then live in the right now. I needed to tend my garden of friends to make it grow and thrive. I've been working hard on that, it's not an easy balance for me. When we moved to suburbia I found it easier to keep my "city friends" close and just skim the surface with the new people in my life. At least I was older and a wee bit wiser this time, or it might have been my husband complaining about all the gas being "wasted" driving back and forth, either way I tried harder to make the relationship meaningful.

{photo credit: txkun}

A friend is one who believes in you when you have ceased to believe in yourself.

I have seen the power of friends lately. They have held me up and reminded me of who I am, and who I can be. They sent me notes like this:

You are much stronger than you think -as one of your friends I know this for a fact. Believe in your strength because it is in you.

You have many many gifts....

They have always come at just the right time and were just what I needed to hear. They have sprung new ventures, new ideas, and new hope in me. They have gotten me out of bed and excited to start the day, not always, but enough. Friends that I didn't know I had have feed us and prayed for us and offered us comfort when we didn't want any. They have been our angels.

{photo credit: maryn0503}

We are all angels with only one wing...we can fly only embracing each other

Angels don't always live on your block, or in your city, or state.

When I was in my darkest moments, my closest friends, my angels were not with me in person but in spirit. I reached out to the friends I have made on Twitter because I knew someone would be there, right there at that minute. I didn't have to worry about family seeing something before I had answers, like I would on Facebook. I didn't have to worry about being able to talk coherently. I reached out as I was falling and they held me up and hugged me tight, and walked me through.

{photo credit: travilnman43}

Two may talk together under the same roof for many years, yet never really meet;
and two others at first speech are old friends.
- Mary Catherwood

At first "tweet " I felt like I knew many of you. I never, in a million, gazillion years would have ever thought I would have developed such intense friendships form what I thought was a frivolous time waster, a Facebook for strangers. My friends that are here, in person, get hugs and cards and know how much I appreciate and love them. You my "virtual" (although I hate that word, because you are so real) friends, are getting this sappy blog post and some linky love, because you Becky, Heather, Ann, Erin, Liz, Deb, Shell, Ashley, Beth, Stephanie, Hyacynth, Barb, Gretchen, Zeghsy, Lara, Amanda, SaraJoy, Jessica, and anyone else who I might have missed.

Thank you, thank you for being there so I wasn't alone. Thank you for making me laugh when all I wanted to do was cry. Thank you for giving me hope and inspiration, and for being around in the early hours of the cold mornings whenever one else was sleeping.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their work:

If one falls down,
his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls
and has no one to help him up!

{photo credit: marcusjroberts }


The Black Sheep said...

Lovely post. I hold my friends very close to my heart. I lean on my true friends daily and they are so special to me.

Do me a favor please--all of my readers lost my feed this weekend when I switched to Word Press. Can you visit my site at and re-subscribe to my feed or re-follow me through google? THANKS :)

Becky said...

OH MY GOD I have chills and am tearing up at work. I couldn't have said it better myself. This online friendship is something that is so hard to explain to others but it's SOOO real. When I found out about your baby, I was heartbroken at home. Matt said "Who is that?" and I said "My friend. PBinmyHair." He looked at me weird...

This is my babbling way of saying THANK YOU for posting something that has been in my heart but don't down on paper, um, or website.
love ya girl!

Hyacynth said...

Isn't it beautiful when strangers hundreds of miles (or just two!) away morph into friends? So thankful for you and the added bonus that we live so close and have the opportunity to connect face to face as well.
And, indeed, two are better than one. What a wonderful tribute to friendship.

Ann Imig said...

Thank you so much for this. Have a wonderful day.

Sara Joy said...

And those amazing people did the same for me, who would I be if I didn't pass it on? Twitter is truly a friend for those who grieve, and also those who rejoice.
Trust me, it is MY pleasure to have met YOU.

Stephanie Wilson she/her @babysteph said...

Wow, this post and the photos are just beautiful! So true.


Shell said...

What a gorgeous, gorgeous post. It's amazing how connected we can feel to people we've never met.

Love ya, girl!

Melissa Haak said...

Thank you! Thank you all! YOU are why I wrote this post!

LOVE you!

Heather of the EO said...


And Becky's comment made me laugh. "my friend PBinmyHair." :)

I'm glad you're feeling the love, because it is real and we do care. A lot.

Sally said...

awwww, I can so relate to this post. While I hold dear my friends of "old" I treasure the newer ones I've made since I began blogging. The world can indeed be a wonderful place.

God bless.

Unknown said...

Oh my goodness, what a beautiful post! I am tearing up over here. I am so glad I was able to be part of a support team for you- sometimes it's easy to feel lost, even in the world of twitter. You have made my day brighter and started my weekend on a beautiful note. Thank you! xoxo

LutherLiz said...

Love this, and so so so true!

Dumb Mom said...

Okay, I'm feeling emotional (my response to sleep deprivation) today and this made me tear up. Not cool. Now The Dudes are standing here saying, "Was wong Mommy, you sad, Mommy?" and I'm waving them off like a mad woman. But, thank you for this. I appreciate you even sharing such an intimate part of your life with all of us. Keep your head up kid!

Deb said...

this post means a lot to me... for very selfish reason. i was thinking about this very thing last night, after you basically talked me down from my teen-induced rage. and for you to take the time to cheer stupid me up, when you have so much going on in your life and in your heart, is awe-inspiring.

and, i am a lot like you in that i have definitely lived in the moment, and didn't do too terribly much to cultivate long term friendships. i guess it's never too late, right? :)

Unknown said...

monkey can't seem to keep up with all of my online friends. especially when i really only know them by their twitter name. i like that though. i feel like i get to know you all in a way i might not if we met in person first. my life is bigger, warmer, and better knowing all of you. thank you. *hugs*

Erin said...

This is so beautiful, and so true. I'm so thankful to know you through blogging, and I really hope I can give you a big hug in person someday soon!

Gretchen said...

Girl, will you GET OUTTA MY HEAD??? I just wrote a post about friendship! We must be on the same wavelength.

I'm blessed to count you among my online friends.

Shell said...

Hey, back to tell you that you have an award over on my blog.

Stepping On Cheerios said...

What a beautiful post! Shell sent me to your blog:) I am lucky to have 1 friend from childhood. I've only been blogging since October but you are right about the support and friendship to be found here:)

Lisa said...

Wow, that is an awesome post!! So much of what you said resonates with me:) Funny what the world of blogging brings into your has brought me so many good friends that I wouldn't have found otherwise. So glad Shell sent me over.

Erin said...

That was really beautiful. Shell sent me to your blog and I am so glad to "meet" you! I also don't have many "old" friends. My family has moved around a lot, and I am terrible at keeping in touch with people. At least, I was until facebook, email, blogs, and Twitter came along!