Monday, February 1, 2010

My Mom Weakness

Every superhero* has a weakness, their kryptonite, or Achilles heel.

Mine is vomit.

People who know me are usually impressed. I have volunteered or worked in nursing homes and hospitals since I was 12. I spent several years volunteering on a cancer ward and worked for a year on an mostly post-op ortho floor. Two patients in a hospital that vomit the most? Chemotherapy patients and post op surgical patients. In all my years working and volunteering I was never vomited on once, I was projectile vomited at once but I was close enough to the door and quick enough on my feet it missed me. How did I manage this? Mostly by luck. I was however also a flirt and cute (it was many years pre-baby!) and worked on a floor with many male aides. If I got stuck with a puker, I could usually pass it off on to someone else.

My husband knew this when he married me. The few times he has been sick, he knows I will not be by his side in the bathroom rubbing his back. I may stand around the corner (if he is not being gross and loud) and I will bring him whatever he needs. However I will make him clean up his own mess. I know, terrible wife, but he took the vows knowing this and he is stuck now.

This however becomes a major weakness when you have children. Sick kids want their mommies. They want to be held and rocked, consoled and comforted. I am generally the go to parent for sick, hurt, pain. It's my speciality, it was my career, I usually know what to do. However that does not happen if you are vomiting. I love my kids, but I just can't handle puke. Oh I can handle baby spit up just fine. As soon as it changes, and has that's all over they becomes dads problem. I have a weak stomach and I can't handle it. The smell alone will cause me to also vomit.

Now we are a very, very blessed family. Our kids did not get a stomach flu or vomit bug until my son was almost 3. I can count on one hand how many times my son has thrown up (my daughter only had it once, it was more like spit up and than moved "down the line"). We have also been blessed in that more then half of the time dad has been home and my son loves his daddy. This is a really good thing because as he is throwing up I am usually always running the opposite way, or pushing him in to a bathroom at arms length so as not to see or smell anything.

I feel bad about this I really do. I have tried mind over matter, I have even worn masks made of clean t-shirts, tried the perfume/good smell on the shoulder trick. It doesn't help, I am gagging down the vomit myself the whole time. I just don't know what else to do other to accept that this is my mom weakness, try to keep the kids healthy and move on. I mean I do have to cover all the snot because my husband thinks that is gross, and come on! Winter in Chicagoland with two kids in classes/school, there is a lot more snot than vomit, and I am still tougher than a grizzly!

What's your mom weakness?

PS: If you have a secret for getting that horrible smell out of carpet please tell. I may never be able to go into my kids room again!

*for the record I do not believe super-mom exists. I believe we are all super in our own way, not because you can be all things to all people- but that would be another post.


Unknown said...

Oh, what a day! I'm sorry! I never deal all that well with vomit, though for me, the blood is the worst! When my son hit his head on the corner of his dresser and the blood gushed, oh my goodness, I could barely stand it. Ugh!

Melisa Wells said...

The best deal I ever made was when our older son was born: I agreed to cut his nails 100% of the time and my husband agreed to deal with ALL of the post-baby spit up vomit.