I’m sure by now you have all realized that Mama B is MIA for the week.
Something about going to Wisconsin, arguably one of the coldest states in the union, for spring break.
All of the previous posters were over here just sharing their goodies. Something about starting fires or something?
Anyway, this post is entirely different because it is the one in which you realize that Mama B has sold you all out.
That’s right readers, she has decided to leave the world of blogging for good.
Let me back up a bit, the excitement of blog-world domination has caused me to get ahead of myself.
Okay. *deep breaths*
Hello everyone, I am Dumb Mom (yes, THE Dumb Mom), and I’m here representing
the bestes blog eva parenting BY dummies.
I have been an active member of the blogging community since December, 2008, which means I am coming up on my 18 month blog-a-versary.
I have experienced some success with my blog (you know stuff that matters like followers, traffic, comments, Google page rank), but nothing to really write home about (not that I have to since my mother stalks my blog shamelessly).
But, I haven’t gotten to the point where I feel accomplished or truly successful as a blogger (aka the point at which the money begins to roll in).
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t live in Crazy Blogger Delisuionalville so I know that I’m not likely to be the next Dooce (no PPD ravings here) or the next Pioneer Woman (no sexy cowboy hubby either), but you know, I kinda would like to be a respected member of the blogging community.
And, I’m sorta sick of waiting for my content to make it happen for me.
Plus, I don’t know anybody (‘cause you know, blogging, like real life, is a lot about who you know), at least not anybody who
likes me wants to let me ride their coattails to the top support my “brand”.
So I came up with a new plan.
A plan to ensure blog-world domination in as little as 6 weeks.
A genius plan really.
To eliminate to competition and
make people like me catapult me to the top.
That’s right people, B-U-Y-I-N-G them.
I figured that one of the main obstacles standing in the way of my become-a-popular-blogger-so-people-will-pay-me plan is that the market is becoming a bit saturated.
It’s getting too hard to have a blog.
Now you have to worry about annoyingly time consuming junk like personal branding, SEO, building a blog community, and other stuff I’ll let you know about when I figure out what it is.
And. You need a niche.
A niche that is supported by good content.
I don’t have a niche (unless you call being a suckit mom who is strangely funny a niche), or time to think about my brand, or brains to master SEO.
So, I’m taking the easy way out…MONEY.
It may not be able to buy you love (which I’m not sure I agree with) but it can buy you blogs, because everyone needs it and most of us like it (which is more than I can say for my blog).
So the other night when I sat down to do my figuring, I figured that what I need to do is get some cash, find some in-the-market-for-some-cash bloggers, and give it to them to
to go away let me be the creative director on their sites.
Basically they post about me and me related material and all is well.
And, guess what?!
I’ve turned 12 of them so far!
So instead of reading about Mama B’s peanut butter life, or Angie’s Seven Clowns, or Jen’s Hipness, or KMama’s Daily Dribbles, or Marf Mom’s Marfan, or When SHE became her mom, or Being a former Fatty, or how HER Life Gone Awry, or Amy’s B Hole, or Supah’s Adventures, or Faemom’s Faeness?, or even Sunday’s Extreme Parenthood, you get to read about moi.
Before they sign off
for good for the duration of their written-in-blood contracts they have each written one last post for you here: parenting BY dummies.
I urge you to give them a chance to explain why they’ve
sold you out to The Man (The Man being ME) succumbed to the Dumb.
Come on over and say adios to your beloved bloggers. MWAHAHAHA!!!
P.S. I am currently not on the hunt for other blogs to dominate as I have run into a bit of an issue with my blog-world-domination budget plan. #therecessionisruiningeverything
I'm hijacking comment sections too so watch what you say people, I am everywhere. You can't escape the long arm of the blog-world-dominatrix law!
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