Monday, April 19, 2010


We had a little boy. We lost a sweet little boy.

It was hard to hear. Not to say that we didn't love, or would have loved any less a little girl. We had already hurt and mourned for a little girl. We both thought for sure we were having a little girl.

God keeps throwing us curves ball though, keeping us on our toes, teaching us unseen lessons.

A little boy.

Hearing those words re-opened all the pain and heartache. Made the wound fresh and new. Making everything that much sadder. Now my husband has lost a father and a son, all in one lifetime. Re-opening the wound that I thought was healing in me. A boy. What I had hoped for and wanted so badly. What I was convinced I was not going to get.

My first was a boy. Cuddly, sweet, amazing, boy. I considered myself a boys mom and was hoping to fill my house with them. My second was a girl and my heart melted. We play with ponies and baby dolls, she loves clothes, and I love her. I would have loved with my whole heart and more either, but I was hoping to go back to that cuddly sweetness of a boy. Instead, I am left holding the heartache of loss.

A little boy.

We had a little boy.

We lost our little boy and that hole will forever be in my heart.


On Sunday April 25th we will be Marching For Babies to remember and celebrate our little boy, and all the other little babies that didn't get a chance to hold their mothers hand and march by her side.

If you are in the Northern Chicago/Southern Wisconsin area we would love to have you on our team. I have been overwhelmed by the support we have received and how much money my friends and family have been able to raise in such a short time.

If you're not in our area you can help by donating to our team or walking in your own March for Babies, many are happening this weekend. You can find out where and when here.


Melisa Wells said...


Unknown said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine the feeling How wonderful that you have chosen to express that grief in a positive way, Marching for Babies.
I just stopped by from SITS to say hello; if you return the visit, you might smile for a few minutes. At least I hope so.

Mama Up! said...

I agree with Eva - it's wonderful that you're able to take your feelings and turn them into positive action. Not everyone can.

The Simply Luxurious Life said...

I am so sorry for your loss. But as Christa said above, what a positive example for others who may be going through a similar heartache. Your strength is inspiring.

Unknown said...

my heart breaks for y'all. it is amazing that you can use your grief for good, to help others and their babies. thank you for sharing.

Writing Without Periods! said...

Aah, I'm sad for you. What a wonderful insightful post.

Hyacynth said...

((((Hugs)))) No words. Just big hugs.

Erin said...

I will be walking Saturday, with you on my heart and in my mind.

Shell said...

Sending lots of hugs.

We are walking down here.

Adrienne said...

I will be thinking of you during our walk in Houston hugs to you God Bless

Unknown said...

Oh sweetie, I just saw this now. I am so, so sorry. I can't imagine the added pain this news brought you. Sending you all the strength and positive thoughts I can. (hugs)