Thursday, March 4, 2010

Hello my name is...

When I first started blogging back in 2005 (on a different blog) it was a way for me to just stretch my new mommy brain. When I started this particular blog back in October 2008 it was really an outlet for me to cope with our move and navigating a new place. I also thought it would be a funny way for me to stay connected with my friends back in the city. It has turned into something so much more. I have made some amazing friends, I have opened myself up to new ventures and new ideas and it has really has become a part of me. A place where I can be creative and myself.

With my very first blog I didn't tell anyone, not even my husband, about it for a very long time. I wasn't sure of my writing, I wasn't sure of what and why I was doing it. My husband is a techie, that is his job, he worries a lot about internet security and how much I am "putting out there" (this was before Facebook!). So at that time I created my alter ego MamaB. It was random, and not related to my name. It actually came to be because I depressed and considered myself a "blue mama" but didn't want to attach such a depressing moniker, I didn't want it to be a self-fulfilling prophecy, I wanted to be happier. So that's how MamaB came about. I just figured people would assume it was my first or last name.

Funny thing happened though, I started really putting myself out there. I started making friends and I started getting noticed and writing at other places. So I was faced with the dilemma, I want people to know the true me, but I also want to protect my children (they didn't ask to be blogged!). I am not a celebrity, I don't have to worry about my image. My friends and family have all started reading my blog, I can't hide from them. I don't have a job I have to worry about losing. Was it worth keeping up two persona. Remembering what name I write at here and what name I write at there. Was I truly making connections if no one really knew who I was?

Gretchen wrote about her struggle with what to share here. I consider her a friend and the internal debate I was having kept coming back to her thoughts. Then I read this on Blissfully Domestic about being a human blogger and I really started thinking I needed to "come out". The whole reason I write about some of the hardest things I have experienced in my life is the hope that I am reaching out to one person. That just one person will see themselves in my struggles and feel comfort, get help, know they are not alone. Can I do that if I am just a persona? Just a lock of hair?

So I tried it out on Twitter, used my real name, posted a picture with (gasp!) a face! You know what? No one stopped me on the street. No one showed up at my door for an interview or kidnapped my kids for ransom. There was no major security breach (hubby!). I'm still just a misplaced suburban housewife, only now you know that I have unmanageable curly (frizzy hair), eyebrows that have never been tweezed, and cute apple cheeks.

You know that I am human, and my name is Melissa, nice to meet you:



I'm not perfect, I'm not super. I'm just a 30 something mom of 2 kids and an angel. I survive on more than the recommended daily dose of coffee and the love of those around me. You can still call me MamaB if you like, or Missy, or Mel, just stick around, and maybe introduce yourself!

10 comments:

Stepping On Cheerios said...

I know exactly how you feel! Being two people is too hard! My blog is semi annonymous but I'm a photographer and I want to share that as well. Nice to meet you Melissa! I am Brandi:)

Patois said...

Good for you! And I love seeing a face to go with your tweets. (This from a person showing her feet.)

This Mama Works It! said...

I do feel the human side of the blogs I read even if they do not use their real names but I understand where you are coming from. I am not ready yet to show myself. Maybe someday.

Hi Melissa! Great blog!

A New Mom said...

Yeah. I'm semi private. I give my name (Jessica) but not my loved ones. I'm the one blogging not them (ya know?). But its hard cuz I'm a photographer & I wanna take pics. So I TRY to find a happy medium. Sometimes...

Erin said...

It is hard to put yourself out there, isn't it? I use my first name (Erin) and last on Twitter (Roseberry), but I use nicknames for my kids. And I do not divulge my specific location. Thanks for "coming out" Melissa!

Becky said...

HI!!!!! What a pretty face!

Signed,
BECKY!

Andrea (ace1028) said...

Hi, PBMom! :) How's that sound? When I just saw your name on Twitter that's immediately what I thought to call you. I LOVED this post. While I don't reveal my daughter's name on my blog [something I just stopped doing once I went public,] I do share pics of her, as she is a huge part of me, my life and who I am. And I have a techhie hubby, too, so I hear ya. He doesn't care too much, but he knows the ins and outs, it can be scary, but it's important to be human. Off to read more and to follow you, too! ;)

Otter Thomas said...

I started out being secretive but that made writing too difficult for me. Now my whole family is out there except that my name is still Otter. That is my dogs name. I don't want to change it now because that is how people know me in the blogging universt. Most people know my real name now I think. Anyway, Hi my name is Robert. I am a human too.

LutherLiz said...

Pleased to "meet" you!

Texan Mama @ Who Put Me In Charge said...

AAH you are gorgeous. Are you kidding me? Thanks for the linky love. And you are a very brave soul. I remain tight to my feelings about not sharing my info. Actually, I have a FB account but that's all my real life friends and family, so I can't really publicize my blog there! But, I'll send you an email and you can look me up on FB and then we can be FB Friends! Whee!!!

You did a good thing. Your story is helping people. My story is just amusing them (I hope anyway.)

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