With my very first blog I didn't tell anyone, not even my husband, about it for a very long time. I wasn't sure of my writing, I wasn't sure of what and why I was doing it. My husband is a techie, that is his job, he worries a lot about internet security and how much I am "putting out there" (this was before Facebook!). So at that time I created my alter ego MamaB. It was random, and not related to my name. It actually came to be because I depressed and considered myself a "blue mama" but didn't want to attach such a depressing moniker, I didn't want it to be a self-fulfilling prophecy, I wanted to be happier. So that's how MamaB came about. I just figured people would assume it was my first or last name.
Funny thing happened though, I started really putting myself out there. I started making friends and I started getting noticed and writing at other places. So I was faced with the dilemma, I want people to know the true me, but I also want to protect my children (they didn't ask to be blogged!). I am not a celebrity, I don't have to worry about my image. My friends and family have all started reading my blog, I can't hide from them. I don't have a job I have to worry about losing. Was it worth keeping up two persona. Remembering what name I write at here and what name I write at there. Was I truly making connections if no one really knew who I was?
Gretchen wrote about her struggle with what to share here. I consider her a friend and the internal debate I was having kept coming back to her thoughts. Then I read this on Blissfully Domestic about being a human blogger and I really started thinking I needed to "come out". The whole reason I write about some of the hardest things I have experienced in my life is the hope that I am reaching out to one person. That just one person will see themselves in my struggles and feel comfort, get help, know they are not alone. Can I do that if I am just a persona? Just a lock of hair?
So I tried it out on Twitter, used my real name, posted a picture with (gasp!) a face! You know what? No one stopped me on the street. No one showed up at my door for an interview or kidnapped my kids for ransom. There was no major security breach (hubby!). I'm still just a misplaced suburban housewife, only now you know that I have unmanageable curly (frizzy hair), eyebrows that have never been tweezed, and cute apple cheeks.
You know that I am human, and my name is Melissa, nice to meet you:
I'm not perfect, I'm not super. I'm just a 30 something mom of 2 kids and an angel. I survive on more than the recommended daily dose of coffee and the love of those around me. You can still call me MamaB if you like, or Missy, or Mel, just stick around, and maybe introduce yourself!