I try to stay out of internet bruhahas. Confrontation is not my thing and I know that if you throw the carcass of your soul out on the internet you will get maggots. I get that I don't care to encourage growth in trolls and nastiness so I try to use the policy of ignore and move out.
Today I can't.
I tried. I have been trying since 6am this morning when I saw this.
This has been weighing on my heart and on my mind since reading it.
I suffered from PPD too. And I do mean suffer. PPD is not just depression. For many women it comes with anxiety, obsessive/compulsive thoughts and actions and hallucinations. Yes, hallucinations. I don't pretend to know depression, I don't have depression, I have PPD. Same name, entirely different monsters. If all I ate were oranges day in and day out I would not pretend to know what an apple taste like. While they are both fruit, they are not anywhere near the same thing.
However the peoples of the internet, those that eat oranges and worse off those that don't eat fruit at all seem to think it's okay to tell me, her , YOU what our apple tastes like. I am trying very hard to not let this deteriorate into a rant likes those that I will not link to, but let me say this:
PPD IS NOT TRENDY
I would not wish it on my worse enemy and that includes these haters. PPD is not something you can get over, man up, or take vitamins for. Do we not look or sound disturbed enough for you? Does an alcoholic look drunk all the time? Can you spot the person dying of cancer at the grocery store? I put on my mommy mask everyday. Suffering for 9months because I was afraid of the likes of YOU. The ones that would call me CRAZY, UNFIT MOTHER, a FAKE. I sat in a shower crying and shaking trying to drown out the tears of my child. Scared to tell even my husband what I was feeling.
I truly believe that I am only here today, in this place I am at because someone else was not scared and she wrote her story. She wrote all the gory details that you feel you are entitled to, but she didn't have to. See this is my story, her story, OUR story. It's not your story to tell, or to question. It's our life and our minds. You want to question whether someone took a picture or really had a book deal, go ahead, but do not question whether or not they are lying about a diagnosis.
I decided to write this not because I think it will change those peoples minds one bit. It won't. Will it deflect some of their hate to me? Bring it! I'm not fighting internal demons now I can take it. I am taking a stand and saying something for that mother that is teetering on the edge of darkness and is afraid to talk to anyone. I pray that women does not read your hateful words because it will do nothing to help her. It will push her farther into the darkness and she may never recover. Far to many women are suffering in the darkness day in and day out because of people like you that think PPD is just a touch of the blues and that we can "man up" and "get over it". I shine on light on my darkness so she can see out of hers, because if I can help even one mother find the light and pull herself out of darkness it will make it all worth it.
If you can't be a light, don't be the darkness. Don't be the one that blows out that flickering light. Women's lives are at stake here.