Wednesday, June 9, 2010

PPD is NOT Trendy


I try to stay out of internet bruhahas. Confrontation is not my thing and I know that if you throw the carcass of your soul out on the internet you will get maggots. I get that I don't care to encourage growth in trolls and nastiness so I try to use the policy of ignore and move out. 

Today I can't. 

I tried. I have been trying since 6am this morning when I saw this

This has been weighing on my heart and on my mind since reading it. 

I suffered from PPD too. And I do mean suffer. PPD is not just depression. For many women it comes with anxiety, obsessive/compulsive thoughts and actions and hallucinations. Yes, hallucinations. I don't pretend to know depression, I don't have depression, I have PPD. Same name, entirely different monsters. If all I ate were oranges day in and day out I would not pretend to know what an apple taste like. While they are both fruit, they are not anywhere near the same thing. 

However the peoples of the internet, those that eat oranges and worse off those that don't eat fruit at all seem to think it's okay to tell me, her , YOU what our apple tastes like. I am trying very hard to not let this deteriorate into a rant likes those that I will not link to, but let me say this:

PPD IS NOT TRENDY

I would not wish it on my worse enemy and that includes these haters. PPD is not something you can get over, man up, or take vitamins for. Do we not look or sound disturbed enough for you? Does an alcoholic look drunk all the time? Can you spot the person dying of cancer at the grocery store? I put on my mommy mask everyday. Suffering for 9months because I was afraid of the likes of YOU. The ones that would call me CRAZY, UNFIT MOTHER, a FAKE. I sat in a shower crying and shaking trying to drown out the tears of my child. Scared to tell even my husband what I was feeling. 

I truly believe that I am only here today, in this place I am at because someone else was not scared and she wrote her story. She wrote all the gory details that you feel you are entitled to, but she didn't have to. See this is my story, her story, OUR story. It's not your story to tell, or to question. It's our life and our minds. You want to question whether someone took a picture or really had a book deal, go ahead, but do not question whether or not they are lying about a diagnosis. 

I decided to write this not because I think it will change those peoples minds one bit. It won't. Will it deflect some of their hate to me? Bring it! I'm not fighting internal demons now I can take it. I am taking a stand and saying something for that mother that is teetering on the edge of darkness and is afraid to talk to anyone. I pray that women does not read your hateful words because it will do nothing to help her. It will push her farther into the darkness and she may never recover. Far to many women are suffering in the darkness day in and day out because of people like you that think PPD is just a touch of the blues and that we can "man up" and "get over it". I shine on light on my darkness so she can see out of hers, because if I can help even one mother find the light and pull herself out of darkness it will make it all worth it.

If you can't be a light, don't be the darkness. Don't be the one that blows out that flickering light. Women's lives are at stake here. 

16 comments:

Becky said...

Good for you! Great post! From one who suffered as well way beyond "baby blues" I thank you for this post.

WeaselMomma said...

Well said. I have suffered with PPD. (although I was once mis-classified as PPD after the death of my daughter. That was different and not hormone related. I just had severe depression that happened to be postpartum.)
I don't know the pain of you or others, but I know that it is real and a struggle. I'm happy to see that you survived.

Lori at I Can Grow People said...

I've battled PPD too. Telling my husband was the hardest thing I have ever had to do and he helped me get help. However, some members of my family--like my own mother--weren't as supportive. I got the "suck it up" lecture quite a bit. If it weren't for my husband, my doctor and all of the support I have gotten from other PPD moms online, man, I don't know what I would have done.

Thank you for your honesty in this post!

Lori at I Can Grow People

Michelle said...

Amen, I have a post brwing on this, but from the other side. A woman whose wedding I attended who committed suicide with PPD on Mothers Day. People knjew she was struggling and justt told her "she'd be ok". Her daughter left behind is proof that she's not.

MommyLovesStilettos said...

AMEN! Very well said.

Laura said...

Can we just help -- and show compassion -- for other moms? No one truly knows our circumstances but us and the One greater than us.

Personally, I have enough to take care of, just keeping myself on the road -- and along the way, lending a hand up now and then.

Jennifer said...

I have had two friends that suffered from serious PPD. In both cases they had a really strong support group that realized what was going on and pushed them to get help. At the time they didn't really get it; each of them just knew that something was wrong, but not what exactly it was. I wish that all women had a support network like that. For those that don't I'm scared the nasty, mean people out there will push them to a place that is unnecessary and harmful for them to go.

Hyacynth said...

Appluading your strength in standing up for mothers who cannot stand up for themselves right now. Sometimes we are so quick to react with our logic that we don't respond with our hearts. And when someone is suffering -- in ANY way--- we should be speaking from our hearts.

Holly said...

GREAT POST!! (((HUGS)))

Amy said...

excellent post. I did not suffer from PPD but know of several in my family that did. It takes much longer to get through than people expect and accept.

Just Another Mom of 2 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
alexis said...

yes. exactly. you are a light. and those women? i could hit them i am so angry. but i won't. i'm a writer, not a fighter.

xo

Janna Hamill said...

Thank you!!!!!!!!!!! I suffered ppd/a after my second daughter and I am still weak.. Thank you for this...

Grace said...

You said it and you said it well! It's ridiculous that people would actually think this is a trend. Thanks for your post!

The Muser (aka Beautiful Mama) said...

Love this!!!!! Right on. Brave and articulate. Thanks.

Display name said...

I just read the "man up" post after reading your blog. It really is infuriating. She isn't speaking from a place of authority. It's just ignorance, like a white person saying black people should quit whining about racism. And no matter how many times she tries to correct herself with "I never said PPD isn't an illness, just that it's over-diagnosed"--that just doesn't jive with all her other insensitive remarks. Seems to me she just wanted to brag about what a fine job she's doing in her situation of 3 in 13 months. Good for you! But that doesn't mean you can speak for an entire demographic. Just thoughtless. Oh, and she goes on to say she yells, but that's okay, it's natural. It's not. It's not something you should be giving yourself permission to do just because you're a fraction of Italian descent. Ridiculous. Anyway, I really have enjoyed your blog and it really touched my heart. You're doing a wonderful job. I don't have to know you to be able to tell you that. It's evident here in your blog. I saw a very pregnant woman smoking, and blowing smoke into her stroller-bound toddler's face. That's a parent who doesn't care. Good luck!

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