Thursday, July 8, 2010

Adventure Tuesday {Bigger Picture Moment}

Bigger Picture Moment

Welcome to Bigger Picture Moments, a place where we step back and take in life. There are moments where we're so caught up in it all, the hectic mind boggling pace of the day. We encourage you to take this opportunity to take a moment and view the Bigger Picture. Whatever that means to you. A moment where you recognized the role your faith plays in your every day life. A moment where you take note of motherhood and the importance of what you are doing. A moment that made you stop and smell breathe in the bigness of it all. The hugeness that is life and the small moments adding up to one huge Bigger Picture. 

We hope you'll join us. Take a few moments. Think about your week, and pour however little or much onto a page. Then share. Tell us your moment. Link up this week at Sarah's, grab our button (over there in the side bar;), and share your Bigger Picture Moment. And while you're at it, share the love and check out at least one other participant's moment.


Adventure Tuesday. 

It's something I started to make up for not signing them up for multiple camps and activities this summer. They are so much fun to take on adventures and we are at an age now where everyone can skip the afternoon nap and I wanted to enjoy summer. So Adventure Tuesday was born. We would go on an outing. Not a normal day at the park or library. Something big, that maybe took a drive, or required admission. We've been to an auto museum, a forest preserve, a picnic, an amusement park, and this week an arboretum. 

I wish I could enjoy these days more, or at least as much as my kids are. 

I wish I could not stress, and push anxiety and fear, and order to the side and just have fun. 

I wish I was that relaxed and calm cool collected mom and carefree mom who doesn't have a worry in the world. I may have been once, but now, I know what there is too loose and I stress and worry. 

So the whole time they are running and laughing. Wading in ponds and reveling in all the wonder that a new place is to a preschooler. My heart is in my throat and I am worried about loosing them, someone picking them up, worrying they will wonder off. Even the mundane, oh my it's so hot (every Tuesday for the last month has been in the 90's! even if it was cool the day before, the day we go out, HOT!) stop running around, drink some water, take a rest.

I could lie to you and say this is only when I am with them alone. Outnumbered. I would be lying. Even with other adults I tend to be full of worry and anxiety. I need to work on it, I need to relax. I wish I could relax. 

As we were getting ready to leave from our latest adventure, my Monkey said to me

"Mom I love this place! This was so much fun! Thank you so much for bringing us here. I love it"

I smiled. I relaxed a little. It was unprompted which in itself is amazing and heart swelling. We proceeded to drive the hour and half home and I listened to them discuss their adventure and where they were going to go next.

(Peanut 3) "I want to go there Monkey" pointing to the page in his animal book

(Monkey 5) "Africa? Oh I don't know if we should go to Africa, it could be dangerous, there are lions and tigers"

(P3) "Yeah! I like lions!"

(M5) "Oh I know,but there are lots of places we can see animals, like the rain forest. I just think Africa is dangerous."

(P3) "No, let's go!"

(M5) Sigh, head shake "Well okay, but I don't think we will be staying long because you know lions and tigers are dangerous. But maybe we can go for just a little while."


Maybe, it's okay that I'm a little stressed on these outings. Maybe it's okay if I snap at them to get them to listen, to stay together to be safe. Maybe I need to not wish it away because my stress makes them feel safe enough to know there is danger, but brave enough to know you can do it for "just a little while"

So now I just need to figure out. Can we get to Africa to see the lions and be back in time for dinner?

I'm also linking up this week with MamaKat's writers workshop, I missed it and her prompt "I wish I would have...describe a time when you didn't take action, but later wished you would have" prompted my moment. You can read more workshop entries over at Mama Kat's Losin' It!


Alita said...

I used to hover. I was called on it a bad fashion (my mother in law and it was an epic fight) but then I took a step back and realized that I did hover. I did have anxiety. I did and I still do, but not as much. We really have to be vigilant as parents, but we also have to let go and let them make their own mistakes. Give them space.

Which is exactly what you do every time you go out on a new adventure. Great job, mama lion. YOU protect your cubs. You are the biggest advocate. It is ok to worry a little because you are the mama lion. And even if you don't get back from Africa before dinner (I'm thinking that we all live in a zoo anyway) that you'll have a fun time doing it, too. Even if it is just "pretend" Africa. :)

Unknown said...

What a great unprompted thank you!! I am the same way - with 4 even with another parent - I feel outnumbered and over stressed. I have just recently as the kids have gotten older been able to take a step back and realize that they never really wonder that far from me anyway - but just the thought that something could happen to one of my charges gives me anxiety - so Hubby and I do a lot of talking about where we are going and what we will allow - before hand - this helps as we feel like we have control even as we are letting go. Thanks for sharing!

Jennifer said...

See if you have one of those drive through wildlife parks anywhere close by. We have one close by. Can you imagine how excited they would be if you really did take them to see lions and tigers?

Corinne Cunningham said...

It's so hard... it really is. What's helped me and my anxieties is finding a few places where I honestly don't have to worry. Where everyone can relax and be comfortable. It's not easy, but hopefully you'll find at least one place like that :) Hugs!

Tammy Lee Bradley said...

Here in Florida, we have so many places to visit. We have zoos, drive-thru animal adventures, gatorland. Unfortunately we either have the time or the money but never both at one time. :)

This Heavenly Life said...

Adventure Tuesdays sound AMAZING!! What a good idea! I'm hoping you'll find a place like Corinne said -- somewhere you can totally relax and just enjoy the day. Hopefully you don't have to go all the way to Africa, but....that would be fun :)

Hyacynth said...

I've been feeling this overwhelming stressed feeling lately about taking the boys on adventures, too. Ah! I'm constantly all, "Where is G.?!" And now he's getting paranoid like me.
And I'm left asking the same question: Can we go to Africa and still make it back before dinner?
And I just don't know some days. I just don't know.
So glad to read this today. Lots of thoughts to ponder.

Unknown said...

You so eloquently put into words what I think a lot of us parents think and feel. I suffer from anxiety, and although at the moment I have a handle on it, certain things can really trigger it. If someone who is watching them (a rarity for me, really) doesn't answer the phone, the sheer panic I feel is nearly paralyzing. I can only imagine that your experience has made this feeling so much more tangible this summer. Hugs mama. You're doing great.