In case you haven’t figured it out by now, I am pretty much a stereotypical Type-A personalty. My husband is borderline type A and my kids thrive on order and schedules. We don’t handle disorder well. I should clarify, we don’t handle disorder in our lives/schedule, our house seems to be in some state of disorder at all times. I believe it’s the law of the universe with multiple small people in the house.
Well October came and apparently Dean Winters made himself a permanent fixture in our house. Don’t know who that is? Click the link and be entertained, he plays Mayhem. Mayhem has followed us for the last 6? 8? Weeks. I don’t know, I am so discombobulated I have lost all sense of time and space.
It started at the end of September when hubs brought home ManFlu2010. He was sick for weeks. A week+ of the actual flu and then it moved into his chest and we thought he had pneumonia. This in and of itself would suck (come on ladies we all know how men are when they are sick). However Mayhem was not satisfied with just Manflu alone. No. He added in:
- Insane projects at work so husband was also working 60 hour weeks
- He gave the flu to two children
- He gave the flu to his pregnant wife
- He did it all the week the furniture we ordered was delivered
- He made sure above mentioned furniture was damaged in shipping and need replacements
- He made the replacements were damaged in shipping, needing more replacements
- He made one order be completely wrong
- He made Halloween costume patterns written in French (LINK)
This is what my main floor looked like, and this was considered clean, it got worse!
We had been healthy for oh, 48 hours? Long enough to start cleaning the house, get some food that doesn’t come in a takeout package in our house, and start putting together furniture. When GrandpaCold/Sinus infection 2010 hit.
I erased our calendar:
I think I curled up in a ball (as much of a ball as I can being 25weeks pregnant and looking 35 weeks!) and cried. Only that reminded me that we were out of Kleenex again. I think we have gone through 8 boxes of Kleenex in the last 6 weeks. I wish I was exaggerating.
We knew we had lost control and any semblance of brain power and sanity (side note, my daughter is asthmatic/reactive airway disease, when she gets sick we are up every few hours with her) when the following occurred:
Scene: Outside kids bathroom trying to rally the strength to move them faster through bedtime. The kids are moving towards healthy and the parents have glazed over eyes, one with a hacking cough, the other pregnant, sore, tired, and beyond crabby.
Little boy of 5yrs old bouncing around (per usual) in the bathroom, rubbing his toothbrush going yuck! yuck! yuck!
Parents look at each other and try to roll their eyes but are too tired to complete the roll.
A few more seconds pass when moms ears finally kick in.
“Wait! Monkey, what are you saying? Why is your toothbrush wet? What are you doing?”
Monkey: “Wipping off the toilet water, it fell in the toliet” (side note, I have a 5yo boy, the toilet is never clean and rarely flushed).
Cut to: D lunges forward, ad moving faster than he has in weeks to intercept said toothbrush, tossing it quickly in the garbage and begin disinfecting boys hands. Mom stifles laughter and gag reflex at the same time.
I do feel that this past weekend away with old friends, daylight savings (I swear this is the first time it was good!), and finally getting healthy is helping. We slept through the night (well the kids and I did) for the first time in weeks last night. I am hoping we have showed Mayhem the door.
To be sure, I am going to double bolt it and stand guard with a bat, ready to hit him over the head if he peeks in again.
Oh and if you have tips on preventing germs for entering your house, I'll take those too because Germ Warfare starts now!