Sunday, February 27, 2011

Beautifully Difficult

The changing of the guard, er handbag

That was how Heather so perfectly described this stage of bringing baby home and finding your footing. It is, it's so beautiful and amazing and I am so in love. I feel like my heart is the growing and growing 3 sizes, busting out of my chest like the Grinch's. It still amazes me how your heart just grows and fills. You aren't splitting your love you are multiplying it. 

Tomorrow is probably going to be more difficult than beautiful. We are trying to get back to life, to routine. I have spent the last week in PJ's. Most of it in my room. resting, nursing, napping, repeat. I'm physically feeling pretty good, I'm emotionally a little on edge*.  Tomorrow we are going to venture out. My first trip alone with the girls (I love saying that). To take the big girl to class. Hopefully I will remember everything Hyacynth taught me in my babywearing lesson (I have a new ring sling!) and all will go smoothly. I'm actually prepared for and counting on at least one meltdown form one of the three of us, not leaving out the possibility it's me. 

It's been a long time since I have had to make sure we've had "things" with us. As I emptied my purse and filled my diaper bag I got a little anxious. What did I need, what had we done? We have lost our spontaneity!

But you know what, these thighs?

Totally worth it!

So tomorrow we head out and we try to establish a new normal. It will be beautifully difficult, but I can't wait to try.

* Before you start shooting off the emails and phone calls, I am really doing fine, so far. My husband and I know my triggers and signs and we are so far managing the emotional onslaught of the hormone drop well. The Daily Hope has been amazing too, like a daily hug from a friend who gets it. Even if your not depressed, just a sometimes overwhelmed mom, you would be inspired and hopeful from reading it. 


Kim said...

Oh how I love that first outing (NOT!). You will do great!!

If I'd known you wanted a sling, I would have made you one lady!

Good luck tomorrow.


Unknown said...

I remember! I do. You will be just fine. And remember: even if you head home mid-outing, it still counts as the first one! And then its under your belt! Congrats on your new love and seriously? *Sighing* for those thighs! XO

Anonymous said...

Just don't try to be supermom! One thing at a time! Glad to hear you are doing well!
And I love those thighs. My granddaughter is 6 months old and has the chunkiest little legs, I love 'em! And they are so ticklish!

Kate at Big City Belly said...

I love how you took a week to hibernate. That sounds wonderful. I must do that myself.

Good luck today! You'll do great.

Heather of the EO said...

Isn't the Daily Hope SUCH an amazing idea? Such a gift.

I think accepting that this stage is just so hard in so many ways and knowing it will pass makes such a huge difference. Just letting it be hard because it is, I guess. Instead of thinking that you must be doing something wrong if you feel awful. That's not the case...but you know that, I hope. Always.


anymommy said...

xo. May you see the beauty more than the difficult.

Shell said...

The sooner you get out with all three, the easier it will end up seeming!

Hang in there!

Priscilla - The Wheelchair Mommy said...

I hope all went well yesterdaY!! Those little thighs are so darling, heheh.

MD Life said...

First I am glad to listen about..
now I want to say that don`t worry
Every thing will be fine by time to time.
Thank you for share with us.

Allison @ Alli 'n Son said...

I just want to nibble those thighs! I hope your day out went well, better than expected.

Kam said...

Oh gosh! I love the chubby baby thighs - they do make every struggle worth it, don't they? I hope you enjoyed your first day of "normalcy".

Hyacynth said...

Your slinging skills looked GREAT when I saw you wearing baby G. :)