Monday, May 16, 2011
It’s her eyes.
There is something very special about her eyes. I wish I could get a better picture, one that captured their beauty and magic. It’s not just me, people have stopped me, commented on her eyes.
There is something special about them.
I think it’s her brother, her angel shining through those eyes.
I wore his necklace so he could be with us, part of our family on this special day.
It was cold, raining and windy.
I kept thinking he was crying because he couldn’t be with us, share in our love and joy, welcome her into Chirist’s family.
I didn’t think it would still feel so much like we were missing someone.
It was a good day, a really good day.
I felt more connected and in love then I have ever felt at previous baptisms. Not to say my other children’s days weren’t special, and loved, they were. There was something different. Part of it is that I am in a much better place at these 13 weeks than I have been at previous 13 weeks, but it was also something else.
A feeling of being held, and loved. So loved.
It was a really good day, in the end the sun came out and shown on her in her beautiful dress (made from my wedding dress). I took her upstairs and we cuddled and nursed in the waining moments of the sun and despite a lot of chaos going on in her belly and all around us, we were one and we were loved, loved by Him and by an angel that look down and shines through her eyes.
Yes today we are loved and it feels like a small (teeny tiny) bit of my broken heart is healing. Healing through water and oil and life. His life.