Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Baby Food Blues

Homemade Baby Food - Carrots

I have a confession...

:: deep breath ::

I don’t want to start PBbaby on solids. I’m scared.

Today she is 6 moths old and we will head to the doctor for her check up. He will see that she is healthy, happy and big! My guess is almost 17 lbs. Then he will ask if we have started food and why not. I know this because it was at her 4 month when he brought it up and I brushed it off. Said 6 to 8 months, were doing baby lead weaning.

So now here we are at 6 months and he’s going to want to know my plan.

::buries head and sobs::

I’m not ready.

Despite our one little hiccup this is the best nursing relationship I have ever had with a child. My first was so much better than I ever could have expected. However do to some bad advice he weaned early. My second daughter had troubles form the start and it was always work to nurse. This baby though? This baby and me we have a rhythm a flow a connection. It’s so perfect and I don’t want it to change.

I have never made it to a year nursing. Both my older kids stopped nursing at 10 months and I pumped until almost a year for my daughter. I really feel that I could make it a year this time because things are going so well. Would introducing food ruin that. Is that a selfish self fulfilling goal?

She is starting to show interest, grabbing at food and intently watching us. She can almost sit up on her own now. I know we are nearing the time and it makes me nervous and sad, I’m jus tnot ready.

Not ready for her to be so big.

Not ready for her to not need me so much.

Not ready to change the relationship we have.

It’s just one more step in her growing up faster than my heart can take and I’m jus tnot ready.

But she is.

So I will choke back my tears and I will order the high chair (just as soon as I find one in stock) and we will move forward on this journey. That’s what we do as mothers. We choke down our fear and uncertanity so that our children can grow and shine.

Shared with Shell from Things I Can't Say


Barbara said...

We are the same! My doctor told me to start feeding solids at 4 months, I completely ignored him and started at 6 1/2! By then the doctor thought he was on meat...ha! I wasn't ready!

Anonymous said...

Do what you feel is right as a parent, and just be honest with the doctor. I am switching my doctor because I feel like I have to lie something if we are having difficulty with something.

I am dietitian, and all I can tell you is that if you know your baby is ready they are ready. And you need to continue nursing until a year anyways. My daughter is turning a year in two weeks and I understand that feeling.... not wanting to let go. But we do it for them with a tear:)

Lucy The Valiant said...

It's SO HARD to let them take those not-baby steps. I feel this!

Tara R. said...

It's been a while since I've nursed (my baby just turned 18yo), but why do you have to wean if you introduce solids? Why can't you do both? If PBBaby is thriving, what's the hurry? Both of my kids nursed nearly a year before they weaned themselves, and were eating baby food too.

BNM said...

I wasnt able to breast feed with my son so I cant relate but i can relate to letting our kids grow up and its such a bittersweet situation isnt it?

Rach (DonutsMama) said...

Trust your instincts mama!! I so wish I hadn't let my doctor pressure me into starting solids so early. It's ruined nursing and everyday is a struggle to nurse. Everyday I kick myself for not listening to my gut. But as a first time mom, I thought the doctor knew everything. Not so. :(

Unknown said...

It's so hard to watch them grow up and be independent from us in anyway. I'm sure she will still want to nurse as long as you let her.

Unknown said...

Oh girl, I understand that feeling. It's hard every step of the way! It's tough watching them grow, and each milestone is a little harder.

If it helps, my daughter started solids around 6 1/2- 7 months (as she would take them) and nursed for over 18 months. (This was not necessarily intentional, she just didn't want to give up the last two.)

Shell said...

Lots of luck, girl! My oldest started at 6 months and nursed til um... yeah, we'll have that private conversation to stop the judgers. ;)

My middle didn't want a thing to do with solids until he was about 8 months or so. I was told not to worry, that breastmilk was his main food for a year and I could think of solids as more like a dessert.

Tracie Nall said...

Growing up is hard! Watching your kids grow up can be even harder!

I waited until 6 months to start my daughter on solids, and she still nursed until she was a year. If y'all have a good nursing thing going, your daughter will probably adjust well to the food, but still do the nursing thing too.

Working Mommy said...

I am the complete opposite with mine. When DD was 4 months, I started her on solids and now that DS is almost 8 months (on Saturday - eek) he is eating french fries. Do what you feel is right. Honestly, I didn't/couldn't breast feed with either of I don't know what you are going through. You both will know when it is time to move forward, though...don't worry!


Anonymous said...

Um...yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. I know exactly how you're feeling because I'm feeling all of these things myself right now.

We just started Baby Sister on solids last week (at just over six months). Despite my fears, she's still nursing like a champ. I can only hope it continues and that you and your little bean enjoy the same.

Sending hugs to both of you. xo

Hyacynth said...

I know it's hard when you have so many people saying so many different things, doctors and well-meaning friends and family included. But you are the mama, and you do know her better than anyone. {From a baby-led weaning standpoint, signs of being ready to start solids include having a first tooth, showing interest in food, being able to sit and being older than six months.}
The breastfeeding relationship is so complex -- and it's about you, too, and your feelings and your bonding. :) And I truly believe we were created for this symbiotic relationship, so those feelings of yours matter.
I hope that as you and G grow together and as she grows up and as your advance in your nursing relationship that the steps to solids and extending nursing coming naturally. <3

Christine Siracusa said...

Nursing is so emotional. My son was colicky and we were out of our minds, taking him to all these doctors to make sure there was nothing wrong. One doctor suggested I take a break from nursing to see if it helped. I broke into uncontrollable sobs in the office and wept the whole way home on the subway. At home I immediately called the one person I knew would tell me what I wanted to hear. My lactation consultant. I was shocked by the strength of my reaction. It is a very intense relationship. So I understand your sorrow, seeing that change coming down the pike. But it could still be a while before it ends.

Kim said...

Doctors tell us things that generally help...but you as the Mama know the best time to start solids. if you don't think she's ready yet, don't do it.
Seth was 7 months old, Amelia was 10 months old, Libby was also 10 months old when they were interested in solids. It has a lot to do with when they get teeth too. Until they have teeth, their saliva doesn't have the enzymes needed to break down the food. (I read that somewhere one time and totally believe it!).
So, follow your gut and do what your Mama instincts tell you to.

Unknown said...

Oh, I'm sorry! I remember how upset I was when I had to stop nursing my second. I didn't nurse with my first, and I treasured that time. Sending hugs and prayers for peace your way!

Heather H said...

Breastmilk should be his main source of nutrition for the first year, so if I were in your shoes, I wouldn't worry at all about weaning, just adding a little baby food. I don't think it's any big deal if you don't introduce solids until 8 months if you don't want to. Tell your doctor you are taking it slow because you are concerned about food allergies. ;)

Good luck!

Allison @ Alli 'n Son said...

I have a similar fear with introducing a bottle. I'm getting pressure from family to pump and use a bottle so when i have to be away, they don't have to worry about a crying, hungry baby. When we introduced a bottle with my oldest son, shortly after he grew bored with breastfeeding and wouldn't latch on anymore. He was I daycare so we didn't have a choice and had to use bottles. This time around, we don't have to rely on a bottle and I'm worried that if we do, the same thing will happen. I want to make it a year breastfeeding, and even though it's difficult right now when he's so little, I don't want to risk ending too soon because of a bottle.