I have a confession...
:: deep breath ::
I don’t want to start PBbaby on solids. I’m scared.
Today she is 6 moths old and we will head to the doctor for her check up. He will see that she is healthy, happy and big! My guess is almost 17 lbs. Then he will ask if we have started food and why not. I know this because it was at her 4 month when he brought it up and I brushed it off. Said 6 to 8 months, were doing baby lead weaning.
So now here we are at 6 months and he’s going to want to know my plan.
::buries head and sobs::
I’m not ready.
Despite our one little hiccup this is the best nursing relationship I have ever had with a child. My first was so much better than I ever could have expected. However do to some bad advice he weaned early. My second daughter had troubles form the start and it was always work to nurse. This baby though? This baby and me we have a rhythm a flow a connection. It’s so perfect and I don’t want it to change.
I have never made it to a year nursing. Both my older kids stopped nursing at 10 months and I pumped until almost a year for my daughter. I really feel that I could make it a year this time because things are going so well. Would introducing food ruin that. Is that a selfish self fulfilling goal?
She is starting to show interest, grabbing at food and intently watching us. She can almost sit up on her own now. I know we are nearing the time and it makes me nervous and sad, I’m jus tnot ready.
Not ready for her to be so big.
Not ready for her to not need me so much.
Not ready to change the relationship we have.
It’s just one more step in her growing up faster than my heart can take and I’m jus tnot ready.
But she is.
So I will choke back my tears and I will order the high chair (just as soon as I find one in stock) and we will move forward on this journey. That’s what we do as mothers. We choke down our fear and uncertanity so that our children can grow and shine.
Shared with Shell from Things I Can't Say