Minute by minute.
We are all aging ever so slowly and ever so fast.
I look at their shoes, they seem to grow by leaps into large child like feet yet their feet sans shoes still seem small. If I hold them just right with a squint of the eye I can see the baby in them. The pudgy top, the folds of the toes. The shoes though give away the kid-ness of them. So big, so much bigger than their feet.
I find myself not mourning their oldness this year. Kid-ness suits them, they are so cool and smart and funny and kind.
Much like myself, I don’t lament getting older. I don’t fear it anymore. I find I am not where I thought I would be or who I thought I would become. However I have found that the older I get the more comfortable I am with who I am. Right now in this skin. I’m starting to like who I am and where we are and maybe that’s why I don't mourn them getting older because in general I am starting to get a grasp on the slow and steady march of time.
Well into I look at the baby and than that all melts into a fit of anguish. I want her to be baby longer, to hold her longer, to squeeze and cherish every moment to make up for those that I missed.
So maybe I haven’t accepted the movement of time but rather came to peace with it's inevitable march.
6 comments:
I so wish we could keep babies like that longer. Despite the long nights awake and the crying and the constant feedings - I would give anything to have it back for one more day...or I could just have another one :)
WM
Nice blog! I love the statement "accepted the movement of time but rather came to peace with it's inevitable march."
"Kid-ness suits them, they are so cool and smart and funny and kind."- I absolutely loved it when I got there...when their kid-ness was such a wonder to behold that I forgot about their not baby-ness....enjoy the march...
Oh, do I recognize this inevitable push and pull. It is so great watching them grow and their futures starting to take shape. But there is absolutely nothing like your own sweet baby to love and cuddle and encourage to grow. And there we go again...!
I'm with you in these feelings . . .I find myself pleased and content with the children growing and changing as they get older, then I squeeze my little one and wish she could stay that way forever!
It amazes me how quickly time does march on. I can hardly believe one of my children is 10 years old now. How did that happen?
I love that you are feeling more comfortable with who you are as you get older. Not everyone does. It's certainly the best way to live :)
This might be crazy, but I'm looking forward to those middle-of-the-night feedings! My 5th baby is due this week. I remember how much I love waking up, just baby and me, for those special nursing times. Even though I'm *exhausted* sometimes the next day! This stage of babyhood goes by so fast...
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