Sunday, September 11, 2011

I Remember...

I remember...

It was supposed to be a frivolous exciting day, the final walk trough for all the wedding prep. Fittings, hair, make up, shopping, all the fun last minute details. I was driving m y (then) fiance to work. He had a new car that was fun to drive and I wanted it for the day, we probably had plan to go out or something after work.

I don’t remember what those plans were.

I remember listening to the news station waiting to hear traffic and weather, no really listening at all. We stopped at Starbucks and as he ran in to get our drinks I stared out at the perfectly clear blue sky, wedding plans undoubtedly bouncing around my head, a constant stream of lists and tasks, the wedding just weeks away.

The newscasters voice caught my attention, I listen for a second.

A plane.

A plane flew into one of the towers in New York.

I remember looking p into the crystal clear blue sky, thinking, but it’s a beautiful day.

I remember hearing it unfold on the radio. The very first report was it was a small plane. When my fiance got back in the car I told him, a plane apparently flew into the World trade Center. I think he responded that I had to have mis-heard, silly girl, I’m sure it’s just some hot shot in a Cessna not a jet.

I remember driving home listening to the news not understanding at all what was going on.

I remember sitting on the floor of our our small apartment in front of my little college TV with tears streaming down my face. Watching in shock and horror as planes crashed and buildings fell.

I remember being scared.

I worked in the south loop, blocks from the Sears tower.

We lived just a few miles form the O’Hare Airport.

They told us we were next.

Everything changed that day.

When you grow up living around one of the world’s busiest airports planes are just art of our everyday. Your conversations pause and break around the roar of the jet engines. Their lights line the night sky like an ever moving constellation. When the planes stopped flying the world seemed to stop. My world was quiet and off balance and confusing.

I had friends and family in New York. I had friends and family in the military.

Suddenly my wedding seemed so small and insignificant.

We toned it down and many things we’re changed. Family couldn’t attend because they were called up to service. We returned all our favors and instead donated that money to the Red Cross. We said prayers and we held tight to our family. Through tears we celebrated.

I don’t remember being scared to get on the plane.

Everyone wanted us to cancel, we were headed to Italy for an almost 3 week honeymoon. We had to go. We were too young and poor to loose all the deposits and we honestly wanted to try to live our life not in fear.

If we lived in fear they won.

I don’t remember ever being scared or worried in Italy. Friends and strangers we meant embraced us. Cared for us, worried for us. It was like a hug from and understanding relative, only none of us understood.

I don’t have eloquent or poetic words to explain the swirling confusion of feelings this days brings up. Just these thoughts typed out quickly to say....

I remember....

….I will never forget.


Christine Siracusa said...

We went to Italy on our honeymoon, too! In 1999.
Then we went back about 2 months post 9/11. We considered cancelling but we felt the same as you. Also. We were pregnant! And we knew this would be it for a while. It seemed like planes were falling out of the skies in those days. But not ours, thankfully.
Thanks for sharing your story.

Jacquie said...

I am glad you got to go on your honeymoon. I always will remember what happened that day. I pray that none of us will ever forget.
Thanks for sharing your story.

Hyacynth said...

Oh. Me either ... me either. {beautifully written}

Working Mommy said...

I, too, will never forget. I had classmates who lost parents and parents who lost friends. It was a rough experience for all of us - and forgetting means the experience didn't matter when we all know it did.