Not in the Club {Simple Moments, Bigger Picture}

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The Boys Club

I was (am) a Tomboy. I’m athletic. I love football (LOVE) and cars. I tell it like it is, sometimes a little to bluntly. In High School and college I had a lot of guy friends. I hung out with the players on the sidelines and could easily be considered one of the guys.

My mentality when I was younger was anything they can do I can do better. I was super competitive. Whether in the classroom or on the field I always felt the need to prove myself. I would try anything! I am sure on more than one occasion I was embarrassing myself greatly but that never got through my thick and determined skull.

I was one of the guys and I was going to prove it.

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The Mom Club

It’s kind of funny how similar the playground is to the sidelines of the football field. Do you know the jargon? AP? BLW? Ferber? Waldorf? Can you walk the walk and talk the talk.

I could always blend and mold myself to fit whichever club happened to be there. I am just crunchy enough while keeping my other foot firmly planted in the modern. I could keep up (compete) with the best of them. I did it all. School! Moms Club! Playgroups! Storytime! Always keeping up the appearance of “that” mom. Whichever “that” mom needed to be.

My motto became whatever works. Allowing me to fit in without offending or isolating myself from any one group.

No Club

I hung out on the front steps of the school in my athletic clothes waiting for the kids and other coaches to come outside. As we walked to the field it was clear I was the only mom that was coaching. Me and three dads (two who are military). 

I hung back at the end of the line to rally the stragglers to keep up by nipping their heels with my stroller allowing the reality to sink in.

As practice was winding down an hour later I looked around and thought... 

...here I am on a field again and I don’t feel the need to “belong” to either club. 

Not to the dads (boys) club on the field or the moms club on the sidelines. 

I realized that this last year’s journey to focus on the positive and live intentionally has really changed who I am. Through the friendships that have been made I have truly come into my own skin. 

I don’t need to fit in with the boys. 

I don’t need to fit in with the moms. 

I can just be me.

Sometimes that’s a soccer mom. 

Sometimes that a little bit crunchy. 

Sometimes it’s a little (okay a lot) messy. 

Mostly, it’s just me. 

I have found that this skin of mine seems to be fitting better and better the more I except it’s limitations and cherish it’s accomplishments and the only person I need to be better than is the me of yesterday. That  is a moment I want to remember, cherish, and hopefully teach to my children.

Live.

Simply accepting me, that’s my Simple Moment, Bigger Picture this week. What’s yours?

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