I hold her tightly as she arches her back pushing out of my arms. Pushing with all the force her little body has. I pull her closer and whisper words of thanks.
I am thankful for this fighting, for it means she has a strong body.
She wails and screams. My ears are ringing from the noise. My head pounding, it’s so late, I’m so tired. Shhh. Shhh. Shhhh. I shush in her ear as I send up words of thanks for her screams.
I am thankful for the screams, for it means she is breathing.
I pick up her warm just woken body up from the bed, she stretches into my arms and the smell of a wet diaper slaps me in the nose. I breath a sigh of thankfulness.
I am thankful for a wet diaper, for it means she is becoming more hydrated.
It's not easy having a sick baby, especially with older kids. I'm physically and mentally exhausted from being up for hours at night, from the worry of what it "could be". The big kids suffer with a snappy mom short on patience. As I feel the anger climbing up my neck as she screams out again instead of nursing I start going through the thoughts listed above. A dear friend likes to remind me that you can't be scared, fearful, angry while also being thankful.
So I offer up thanks for my sick baby. Thanks that I get to take care of her. Thanks that I can nurse her back to health. thanks that she is here. Thanks that I can do something to help her. I know it's not always the case. I couldn't help him, I couldn't make him better.
So I suck the snot and I wipe the tears. I rub the Vick's on her feet and I hold her to my chest as she struggles to breathe and I say thank you. Thank you for giving me this gift, this blessing of child to cuddle and care for, a child who will get better.
What are you thankful for this week?