Thursday, April 12, 2012

The Wrong Neighborhood {Bigger Picture Moments}

I’m in a bad head space this week.

It happens, it throws me off and I struggle to pick up and move on. One of the effects of PPD that many don’t talk about is the out of no where anger/rage/irriatability. It’s on’e of the scariest parts of it. I can handle blue and dark moods, I can somewhat handle the anxiety, but the blinding anger out of nowhere. It’s harder to deep breathe and meditate through. It blindsides you and takes out you and all those around like a tornado plowing through your home and mind.

I’m trying to lasso the tornado. Grab it’s tail and untwist it.

Trying so hard to ignore the beast that is inside and focus on the smallest little moments that are the most important things.

I’m reading Anne Lamontt’s "Operating Instructions".In it she shares a line from a friend “my mind {is like} being in a bad neighborhood I shouldn’t go into alone”. Yes. The other thing about a bad neighbhood is that the longer you are there the less bad it seems. Like the older couple who has lived in the neighbhood their whole life and can’t see the ghetto that it has become around them.

I need to go to a safe place. "One’s heart is the only safe place to be. There’s light there, there’s comapny, and quiet.” So I go to my heart:



The living in my heart not my head, that's my Simple Moment, Bigger Picture this week. What's Yours

Harness the moment. Write it down, share a picture, a poem or prose. However YOU need to process and remember the moment. All moments big and small.

Link up yours at Alita Jewel's Treasure's this week.

Try to visit the other participants and encourage each other in this journey we call life.


Stephanie said...

Oh my...that quote from your friend could have come from my own mouth, because I know that completely. Sometimes my mind is a very scary place to be. And I either have to recognize the thoughts and see them for what they are...or spill them out to someone who will tell me what they are...and then, somehow, I can begin to walk away from that "bad neighborhood" and find my heart again, in the only One who whispers words of truth to my soul.

Robin said...

what a smart comparison from Anne Lamontt! And your additional comparisons are right on and so true. Your pictures are beautiful and your honesty is so admirable. Praying that "going to your heart" helps you through the hard times this week.

May said...

A bad it! The photos are so very lovely. Plus they serve as a wonderful reminder that you don't have to travel to that neighborhood alone.

Adrienne said...

I did not get overtaken by hormonal depression/anxiety/anger until my menapausal journey began. And the anger piece of it scares the bugger out of me...(not a real raise my voice EVER kinda gal)... it's quite the journey - there are days I actually don't schedule things and days I MAKE myself not have any long conversations or make any decisions. I've imposed restrictions on myself from the outside, so the inside won't come flying out with no one to stop it. I love this thought of looking in and relying on what's real that' UNDER it all...that's in my heart. This is worth great reflection. THANKS!

Jade @ Tasting Grace said...

So very true. I wish you luck going to and staying within your heart neighborhood.