The first cut is the deepest cut, the one that hurts the most, digs the deepest.
The pain is new and fresh and you have to learn to understand not only the immediate but all that follows. Like the rings that ripple out from a stone dropped into water it radiates out into everything, everyone, every moment.
The second time, you’re almost numb to the pain.
It’s surreal, artificial, like it’s happening to someone else. You’ve already bleed all you could the first time, this cut just seems like a reopening of a scabbed over wound.
It stings, it burns, it’s uncomfortable, but it’s nothing like the pain of that first cut.