Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Deep

“Mommy did you know in the deepest darkest ocean it’s so dark some fish don’t have eyes”

“Mommy how deep is the deepest darkest ocean”

“Mommy how deep is our lake, is it as deep as the deepest darkest ocean”

For years he was obsessed with the deepest dark ocean, as he called it. The dark depths (as depicted in Nemo) where the fish have no eyes and you can’t see what’s coming at you. Where their are flickers and flashes of illumination but they are just lures, to lure you deeper into the depth or into a predators mouth.

My boy, my little man who couldn't sleep without a nightlight and didn't like the Jet Engine Thomas because it was “too scary” was fascinated by these monsters of the deep. So we dove in checking out books, watching movies, learning about all that the darkness held.

Maybe he wasn't scared of what hid in the deepest darkest ocean because he couldn't see it until he wanted to. He choose to open a book and look at the monsters, they didn't jump out at him. He was in control.

Control.

That’s really the root of all fear isn't it. Deep down we fear loosing control, of ourselves of our mind. We hold on tight to innate things, schedules, routines, list, to give us the feeling of control when the truth is it’s just a feeling. Everyday, every moment can lead to something else that you didn’t expect, new discoveries found in the deepest darkest depths.

Sometimes those discoveries can only be found when you are pulled down to the deepest darkest depths and you need to pull, claw, just keep swimming our way up. Then there in the clear waters you can see, those monsters in the deepest darkest ocean aren’t really so scary at all.


This is another one I found in drafts. I wrote this to the prompt deep,depth for a Write Out Loud/Memoir Writing Circle, the one I chose to work through can be found here, but I kind of liked this one today.  

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