Thursday, November 6, 2014




They really are muscles. Mine have atrophied almost as much as my once strong and slender body.

I miss writing for te sake of writing.

Creating art for the beauty.

Moving my body in fluid motions for the sake of moving.

It feels like deja vu. This weird place I always seem to end up in when the baby is between 1 and 2. The feeling and desire to do more. That I should be able to do so much more. I mean they're not a baby anymore, they sleep through the night {mostly}, I'm not nursing.

The reality is that toddlers may be harder than babies. More unpredictable, more needy in different and harder ways. It's a new normal, a different normal. I need to find the balance, the spaces of where my needs fit in with the families. Where desires and wants fit in among dreams and reality. The want to do's fit in amongst the have to do's.

I've been here before, it's hard and uncomfortable but it starts with me.

Putting words to paper.

Foot to pavement.

It's hard and shaky, dusty and clunky. But no one ever got better from wishing and dreaming. Keep Swimming

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